in other words, the world heard my plea! also i'm actually going to use headings today moreso than last time. learning the formatting of like 10 different websites is hard.
My body instinctively wants to curl up and cry, but logically, the stint of doing that makes no sense. I didn't 'lose' anything. Everyone was playing pretend, and some more than others. No one there was really my friend. It was all a facsimile, a pretense of a real person. Yesterday, I half-finished the blog because it was 3am where I started getting grilled in private, only gleaned from the fact it was only one representative who exemplified the server by pretending to be on my side. Yeah I see those flags. That was complete deception. Go read my story by the way.
by the way they were location based, not identity based. let's see how you idiots misconstrue that one, huh, goddamn lunatics
Maybe I could grieve for the loss of their souls. After all, they're kinda shambling zombies. But that's disingenuous; it's like grieving over a dead person who is actually gone. There's nothing that can be done but move through the body's emotional responses and move on. In this case, there's nothing to recover. They might be still alive, but they're just corpses. Shambling through the internet pretending to be people, all sniggering in closed doors over things they look to blame other people for rather than actually look inside for.
Let's say I was right and I played into their perception of the issue a little bit; what does that actually say about the powertripping moderators who decided to corner me into an interrogation where all of 10 voices were filtered through one? That's witchhunting. It's bullying. Discrimination. If I'm taking potshots from my own little corner, it's one thing, but to then insinuate I have to confess my entire life story to you is another. Some things I have to keep private. That's the nature of the internet.
I'm hoping I can enact this again by insisting that server blows up. Not even just becauase of the degenerates who stare at the most disgusting stuff ever known to this planet, let's discard that. Let's discard even the reason they chucked me out as well, let's operate purely within the server's framework. They were dishonest. I was about to say disingenuous again, and that'd be right, but that's sugarcoating it. That's insinuating that they had some measure of legitimacy. It was a clique about reading. What was it really for? Acting. Pretending. No one there actually engaged with the subject matter, and none of them were as burned as I was regarding the franchise. To call it a loss is absurd; I have more to gain by taking it out of my life than any 'benefit' talking to such idiots could provide. Maybe I can mourn the loss of the examples I could use in the stories, but that's called brain training. I should get on that by the way.
It's not worth wasting words on them. Honestly, it's probably not worth wasting words on this lot either, but like I said, brain training. This goes back even further really, so to insinuate this as a recent example is just stupid. I'd rather not be naive anymore.
elitism
it's hard to find a proper segue into this. What do you believe your position in the world is? Especially in relation to other people? Do you think about what other people do to you? Why they do what they do? This is only scratching the surface, really, to me.
I don't want to wax philosophics... except for when I do. I like to operate in the means of easy to understand.
How respectful are you towards others, typically?
I've been chucked off of Webkinz purely because their infrastructure is being held together by duct tape. The cheap kind, btw. I got them back, simply as it was a glitch in the system that blew up twice my way. People duplicate items and that's not great. Except for when they otherwise do because the game is a massive pain in the ass about what you can resell and what you can't.
To say nothing of the communities surrounding... ranging from nannies to hypochondriac 20-30 year olds who are frothing at the teeth to find people to blame. I've gone at length about them. See the above paragraphs; they're the same kinds of people at the end of the day, people who outsource their problems onto other people by claiming things that otherwise aren't there to prove their position isn't that of naught.
I have a big old list of bullet points here you know. But I'm going off script for this one. I don't think it'll be fun for me to visit in 3 years and see like 'oh here's the most boring recitation' when i can summarise better than that. Even with the fact I write verbosely.
Cause a lot of this is the same. Poor design choices, rushed programming, and people faffing every which way. I can rave on about that, but it doesn't get at the core of the issue, does it?
Maybe I'll never get to the core of the issue. I just wanna write fun stories at the end of the day.
Because let's be frank, it was a bit rude. But you wanna know what's ruder? Snooping around other people's business. Public posts are public posts, yes, but part of what I complained about in the post was what played into my hands.
Let's rewind a little. In the post, I complained that people were hiding behind veneers of a kind more insidious than surface level appearances would claim. I suppose again, that does play into it a little when I had to play unkind within the clique's little corner itself, when the surface level was kinder than the dredges underneath. They took it upon themselves to snoop around, not to try and find fun content, but to find someone to put down. They wanted to feel superior. Because let's be real, monitoring a group of teenagers was not what these people were doing. They were doing all sorts of insidious stuff. I can't claim to know what it was, but I have pretty good guesses given I'm not ignorant of the world's degeneracy and its many forms. When they sat inactive and refusing to talk with people in forums, but they have time to dedicate towards this, well...
Now who am I talking about?
Really, there's no difference. All of them are exactly the same as one another. To the people offended that I was poking fun at a relatively decently rich company, to the people who thought it good enough to deny their own negative feelings, to grilling someone for several hours for information only gleaned themselves. They're all elitist. Because they all think they're special.
When you're given a label by another person, and you internalise that label, regardless of what it is, it could be literally anything that you ascribe to yourself the person, inherently everything associated becomes part of it. That's why they even made the false correlation, in the first place, because they're so narrow-minded that it literally plays into the very people their fight is against, supposedly. This word, delusion, has to only mean one thing, and in context with this other word, identity, can only therefore in the current environment mean related to the thing everyone understands. But then, that just shows how actually stupid they are; there are numerous words I use to different standards. The way I type in typical spaces, I am very wary of using incorrect words that have a different definition to how I understand it, because it skews the message in a completely different direction. Let's use an example. Universe. There's a very common dictionary definition understanding of that, meaning that of the space which occupies living systems in the bodies such as planets. But that's reductive. It's simply shallow to believe that this single definition can only ever mean one thing. I hate doing it myself, but when you read between the lines, you have to glean a lot more context than what's otherwise said when you're dealing with liars.
And elitists typically are liars. They posit themselves as equals, as someone you can respect, as part of the club. This is why someone with credentials is celebrated, because it's a status. When you outsource every bit of your responsibility to something else, you don't have the internal capability to choose your own path. Maybe you can make 'choices' that're little more than flavour preferences, I'm not saying you're goaded into following a path that's autonomous and you have zero control, but you certainly don't have control if you don't have a moral compass.
This is why what that little girl said yesterday (it was actually several weeks ago, but I posted the blog yesterday) is so concerning because what she exemplifies is a population based issue. People, at large, are unable to think for themselves to come to their own decisions.
Let's use a tamer example. Someone within this chatroom was claiming that MP3s when you listen to them are much higher quality nowadays mostly because there was a test of musicians who couldn't distinguish between those files and wavs. As someone who used to listen to a metric tonne of MP3s as a child of extremely low quality, mostly after I saw an older peer downloading Youtube videos into them, this immediately caught my eye. I'm a bit of an audiophile. MP3s usually have a bit of a zip at the end of them as they fade out. That's not to say I don't listen to them at all, some songs can only be listened to as MP3s. But then this guy goes 'well did you hear it at the end of youtube videos?' (fun fact, several of my mp3 music tracks were recent youtube downloads as recent as less than a year ago!). There's a watching component to youtube videos, as well as the fact I don't listen to youtube (I link it for the story for ease of convenience, not quality), as well as the fact that several youtube videos I do not get to the very end because often times there'll be a list of patreon shout outs, or an obvious conclusion where they yabber on about nonsense, so I often don't reach the end these days to know, not that it matters when concerning my most recent youtube downloads of the same kind.
Let's assume this information is correct. We need to absolutely verify this. Which musicians? How many? I don't want to know what they were 'trained' in terms of hearing because learning institutions intrinsically are full of crap. I want to know 'how' they were trained, because doctors don't ever know how to heal people properly. News people don't talk about the news. I don't care about people's education, and nobody should for heck's sake, unless it was actual learning and not lectures on nonsense that matters to nobody and isn't fun.
The webkinz people repeatedly did this as well. Instead of owning up to the fact the game is a buggy mess, it was always excused with some kind of caveat. As if this stuff isn't mutually exclusive, like yesterday's little girl asking 'what would you do? play the anime all day? [if you don't like official pokemon]'
god, where is all of your imagination? What do you think this life is for? Is it just to go to a massive building until all your soul is sapped out of you and come out with a stamp of approval to be free from the jail cell? Is that what you really think this is all about? I don't exactly enjoy the pitiful job I have, but that's because this world is a farce, not because I 'failed' the test of legitimacy. I'm not spending the rest of my years on this earth chasing some goddamn sheets anymore than I already do.
It's such a blatant gig. My only reprieve is that I'm on when they're asleep, so really, they're the ones losing out.
Common Courtesy, Self-Learning
I envy the kinds of kids who could've learned actual things instead of what I was forced to endure. I suppose it was a nice preparatory lesson, in year 7, and 8, experiments involved actual measurements and experimentation, but after year 9, it was just note taking and watching the odd dvd. Most of the time, being confused on some of the propaganda we'd get when we'd watch it. Not that I knew it as propaganda then, but I suppose hindsight is a feral mistress. maybe make her a cat :>
How should one conduct themselves? Obviously politely. But I suppose, what I really mean is, when you're being told one thing, but inclined to do another. How should one ascertain what's really right for someone?
There are a lot of people in certain spaces who're targets for being plants. They say nice things, but in reality, look beneath the veil, and they're terrible. And supposedly, these are the people you're supposed to trust. Especially because they play puppetry with one another. Oh look, this guy got banned off of social media and then went to... social media again!
Every time I encounter one of these spaces, I see the same song and dance play out. Every time. Astroturfed to hell to where they pretend to be small, and they are, but in reality, who knows what structure is propping it up behind the scenes. I don't even mean that it has to be a person. Sometimes all it takes is a link and then an algorithm can do the rest. Sometimes, it's a statement, and then that statement circulates, and they remain on their square. Other times, it's idiots pretending to be one thing, and in reality are something completely different.
It's only up from here, really. truthfully.
For me, i don't care. These people aren't real. They're all the way to my right, somewhere, which is west, ish, so whatever they say isn't going to hurt when it's someone small. This is why they tell you to be careful on the internet because real fear could seep in if a stranger actually knew that shit. To them though, I'm just a magical fairy. Poof, and there she goes.
I could make the point in time that since they're 'behind' in time, it's only a matter of time before they're ahead, but that would be quite silly and immature. Maybe then all those bugs will catch up with the webkinz people. It's all powder kegs, practically ready to explode.
Today, I was meant to write another chapter. In reality, I'll do that tomorrow; the funny thing about this one, is that this is a chapter where the primary set of characters are getting caught by the bad guys, while others are teleported far and away, and this group is the weakest and meant to feel persecuted as a result. Isn't that kinda funny? It's supposed to be a swerve, because currently the characters are all in bad situations.
There's one who's far from home, another bunch who're learning of strange oddities, several others kidnapped, and the aforementioned group getting caught by the bad guys who ends up splitting further into two. The chapter's actually supposed to be slightly hopeful, because so far it's been a trickle of terrible, and there's more to come right after this, but the characters can't do nothing while several others are in danger, can they?
maybe it's relevant somehow to my life. can I enact that again? maybe not. I can't claim to make lightning strike all the time but I do have a strange tendency to make things happen after I start talking about them. Maybe there's something to that. I don't mean in the silly, nonsensical way where you can just make things appear out of thin air, but I mean in the esoteric sense. Say a thing, maybe someone, somewhere, something, will listen. Then things will happen. The sky wanted to cry for me today. It started raining at 3am all the way until 6pm today. Constantly. Pouring. Because I'm a recovering addict, the recoil's forced my body into complete withdrawal, but I'm not alone. There're still outlets, they're just slower. These people don't pretend they're bigshots, but we'll see, it always is.
I knew this was going to happen, I just didn't expect it so soon.
we'll see how I feel next time i post here then, i suppose
Comments
Post a Comment