When Google's your overlord this isn't easy to go on but

 but hot crap do I hate it.

is this my first time blogging? see I'm always long and obnoxious. I prefer having my own goddamn place to just splurge out my long rambly thoughts. I've never been short. Yeah, ok, I used twitter a lot. But what I often did on twitter was make long dumb ramble threads that never went anywhere. And not even as like 'twitter' threads, just long stretches of tweets on a single point.

Some might've been screaming at me to use tumblr but i always had an issue with that place. Ok, you sure COULD tailor it to what you wanted, but I'd run into the same issue as twitter, posts would vanish, and you'd be inclinced and encouraged to forget everything. Twitter wasn't even something I joined because I wanted to, I was using it to get around a youtube user who blocked me for saying something dumb.

To cut a long story short, 2011-2012 I was high on watching cobi456. Anyone who was a teenager around that time knew. I liked sonic, and I liked watching anyone who played sonic. Because as a kid video games were just not something I knew about until the wii and ds blew out. That was visceral, no other console prior even existed. Computers were all I knew.

So secretly, I always wanted a way off. I was never much of a 'mood' person either, reblogging or retweeting specific aesthetics or types of images. I'm always more about what I have to say rather than what I see.

This is gonna be an essay because if I have the space to flex, I'm gonna flex.

So my moniker. Pinkolol16. Why'd I choose it?

well obviously one could read back to my story which I'll reiterate, but I chose this name because other kids around my age when I had a ds had all these fancy names instead of just using their real name. So I was like 'I want a fancy name too' and decided on as such.

I believe 2-3 years after I determined the name though, since all this was internet days, I want to bring a very important point, and why I demand anyone calls me pink even though the internet knows my name.

Around 2012-2013 I started seeing a shift on youtube since google was favouring real names over stupid piddly xfan1134 internet name tier stuff. But this didn't bother me, those names. It helped ground that these people were an identity, a fragmentation of that person.

Everyone who's even followed me for a lick of a second knows my real name is Amber. But why have I just kept it to that? Because of what I'm about to tell you.

My mum used to stay up late on the internet before I got on. Talking to some stranger we called 'Grant.' Grant was your basic internet pedophile. When he revealed himself as such, she freaked out, to an incessant degree. It was through this that I actually obtained my Wii, as a number of crazy things happened in our family when they found out of this. But it cemented in me one thing: Never, EVER, get too personal to someone on the internet.

And y'know, I tried. I've talked with many a person, growing up as a teenager talking to people. I always had a fondness for the people I could actually talk over skype or discord with voice compared to people in text because of the more personal connection therefore feeling that even though it was still a facade, you can't fake a voice.

No one knows my life behind the screen. Ok, I might've told you stories if I was close enough to you, that's just something I do. But we're just internet people.

And you don't know what things have had to transpire.

So I'm sure maybe one of you might have known I live in NSW. I've shoved it everywhere just cause well I be representative. But, I've never specified where, I've always salted it. I'm protective because of instinct, and of course a crap-load of education since I'm not one to ignore something as basic as that/ Y'know, even though I chastised how cliche those videos are, there's a reason they kept being made.

Especially with this, where my hand is forced.

This shit, this stupid shit in the real world, about dumb lies, is a lie. Anyone wearing the stupid things, anyone going along and getting themselves pricked, I'm not having it. I cut off all communications with people because once you've submissed to tyranny I do not want to be your puppet.

And trust me, I was warned. I was warned many many times before your attempts to dissuade me. My entire teenagehood and childhood was a testing ground for what's happening now.

I feel ashamed that what I considered friends were nothing more than submissive puppets who were probably also pedophiles in a future timeline. Because how dare you not kiss up to your overlords.

I feel ashamed you live in that country and not me. I should be up there, and you should be down here.

It's not like it didn't hurt, but you all gave me the warning signs. Jerks.

So y'know, you might consider me crude but this is me giving you the freedom to do as you want. 's not my fault if you end up on your side because of it.

I recently had a blow out a shit ton of people because I needed to get them out of my life if I wanted to be free. And I am much, much more free. To not have to be constrained by keeping a facade that all was doing was hurting myself.

Some are important, but others are not. And that's where it ends.

Sure, you know my name's Amber. But you don't know me.

and I don't know you.

And I think we're better off that way.